Written by the Scribner

February 11, 2022

Hi Azuka, I am not sure about all this, but I thought that I would give it a try to get my message. So many dead weight, and so much to say.

I really tried to be a good mom. Jett’s passing took me really hard and at the time I really missed him. As a first time parent, I was obsessed, wanted everything to be perfect, clean and sanitized but I did not know that I was killing my child. This beautiful baby boy that I had, and wanted, took me sometime to get pregnant. I wanted to have kids so badly, and I thought I met the one that I could, and I did. It was good, don’t get me wrong, but not all roses, but death has a way of giving you perspective and I have a lot of it now.

The cancer diagnosis was not something I was expecting. It threw me for a loop and I tried to be there as long as I could, but unfortunately was not, and now Ella is all grown up into a big beautiful girl and I am proud of the work that John, Johnnie is doing to raise our little girl.

I still visit and check upon them to see how they are doing but I feel I was robbed of that experience, maybe it is life choices, obsession about cleanliness, but somehow, it does not matter because I have passed and they can’t hear me, nor can I embrace them or touch them again, so I get joy seeing them.

I lived a really great and privileged life, got to wear beautiful dresses, had a fantastic husband and beautiful kids in my life on earth. While I did not live very long, I am proud of the sum of all my achievements and what I have been able to do. I can’t say that I was robbed of a life, but I did enjoy the life that I got.

To my beautiful daughter, I want her to know that mommy loves her so much. That mommy never left her side, and mommy is always with her, and that she was a gift and one of the best things to happen to me, and I am so proud of how she is turning out to be a responsible mature young lady.

To my husband, my dearest one, my brave soldier and the one that stood next to me through all the thick and thin, that I love you, still do, and the lie you have now created for yourself. Please, continue to take care of my daughter, and for you both to take care of yourself.

I was such a lucky woman. Thank you. Kelly. Kelly the wonder woman.